Durga Puja is a celebration of good over evil, as the Devi triumphs over the demon Mahishasura after a cosmic battle. But for the Bengali community, this festival is also filled with the joy of homecoming, since Durga, the daughter of Himalaya and the bride of Shiva, returns to her earthly abode to spend a few days with her parents. She travels with her four children — Kartik, Ganesh, Lakshmi and Saraswati — and receives all the love and attention that is a married woman’s due when she visits her parents.
This is the backdrop of shindoor khela. For when the daughter leaves on Vijaya Dashami, on her long way back to Mt Kailash, the community celebrates her departure by smearing her with shindoor. It is a mark of her marriage to Shiva. For hundreds of years, Durga Puja has ended in this manner. Before the immersion of the idol, the married women of the community first smear the idol and then each other with shindoor, tied together by the common bond of marriage. Children and young girls are also included, their faces are smeared with shindoor.
But this celebration has also divided women as much as it has united them. There are those on the fringes of social acceptance — widows, transgenders, separated, divorcees and single mothers — who are never invited to be a part of shindoor khela. The whole community of revellers is joined together by this ritual. But these other women are united by gender but divided by tradition — looking on, but never being a part of shindoor khela.
But this year, for shindoor khela, we urge each and every one of you to celebrate with two dots of shindoor, a symbol that will unite. One dot of shindoor for you and one dot of shindoor for a sister. Let’s not apply *conditions* on celebrations. Let’s include every daughter in this social celebration. Let all sisters play together.
Welcome to the new Shindoor Khela, a day where labels don't matter. A new inclusive celebration where all women — single, divorcee, widow, transgender, sex worker, lesbian — celebrate their oneness, standing together, proud together.
This pujo, let's change this tradition of division. The world needs diversity. Diversity will come through inclusion. A celebration is for one and all. Let’s not make anyone feel small.
If you believe that all daughters should play together, join the celebration with two dots of shindoor and join the conversation with #NoConditionsApply. Share a two dot shindoor selfie with #NoConditionsApply and wish a sister for an inclusive celebration.
#NoConditionsApply is a campaign by Times of India, to call attention to gender equality across all opportunities, celebrations, ambitions. Share your stories with us at tims.kolkatatimes@timesgroup.com or tweet/post/share on social media with #NoConditionsApply.
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